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Martha school: cold case mystery_chapter 1

Started by Scribe_siren, Nov 15, 2019, 08:30 am

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Nov 15, 2019, 08:30 am Last Edit: Nov 15, 2019, 08:33 am by Scribe_siren
Chapter: Intro to the death

Death is but a part of life and the future for any living being.

A picture in the newspaper stood on headlines:

Washed up, ashore and covered in seaweed.... a girl's hands were tied with an old fisher's net and had been lifeless for two hours. Her name and details pointed to a personal vendetta at a school called Martha School for girls.

It was a miracle that the jagged rocks amongst the sea did not damage anything on her body. Did that mean she drowned closer to her death point.

Examination of her body showed she had drowned, along with an old book in her possession.

The book was in good condition, due to it being wrapped in a plastic shopping bag. A local shop a few miles away....

This book in question had to be vital to any clues to her passing on.
Clara Malka was her name...

Claire stared out the third floor airport window. Cupping her hands around her shoulders from the wind. She and I had been dropped off at the airport earlier that day.

An assortment of airplanes standing in a row, was parked outside. Around the aircraft was a large construction adjacent to each plane. From the looks of it, it was passageways made of metal.

Her hand stirred the spoon in the coffee cup. Clanging on the sides. A sudden soft touch to bring her back into reality on her hand and her bubble burst. I asked, "Claire, are you ok?"

"I am not ok...." dropping the smile, I noticed that the thought of flying and thinking of how she will be leaving everything behind might be bothering both of us.

"How are we supposed to live in a city we don't know!" tearing pieces of bread on her plate... "They are not even here to see us off... the stepfather is the worst."

"You know he is a police officer. So, don't be negative! " I pointed at Claire with a travelling book:
SA, all you need to know.

"That is no excuse!" tossed the bread on the plate and started prodding it with disgust.

"They say this place has a southern tip... I can not wait to explore on vacation days."

"You know that won't happen, Annah! We're stuck in a hostel and a school with no friends." relaxing her shoulders, "Why would our parents send us half way around a world at the age of 16 years old?

"I'm 15... but I understand... " I took the book filled with markers in my hand, "at the least we get to see a piece of the world, before he gets rid of us."

"Great..." sighs and pushes her back to the cushion behind her, a sudden announcement heard from a distance, "Flights now boarding for South Africa at gate C10, flight number 261,"

Both Claire and I grabbed our bags and slowly eddied through the crowds gathering at the security check point.

Chapter 1: Entering a new state

From the corner of my eye the taxi man had been chewing on a piece of jerky for the past several hours, driving on the left side of the road.
The other side of the world, in South Africa didn't make much noise, except when honking at the bad driving and passing by angrily waving their hands asif it made sense in some way.

Claire had been asleep most of the day, however she was waking up from the taxi driver finally spit the wad out. Flinching I stayed my sisters voice by touching her hand again, having no information on the guy who was driving us.

All we knew was the school we were going to....

Turning a corner through an arch with the word: Martha School. The place looked presentable from what I could see in the darkness. An incline led to the parking area, a large area split into four sections and three buildings.

The taxi driver replied into the intercom: "No 9. Mam!".

As a light in the distance flickered on, I could see shadows flapping around the windows. As they started opening the windows I noticed more lights going on.

Until a lady carrying a flashlight and an oil lamp in the other, came waddling out of a very small bungalow. All the windows lights went out.


Clair dragged her bag out of the car. I however had been holding my head from the light that was shining from the flash light. A sharp tinge ran through my head. A pain from the distance we have traveled.

The lady introduced herself, Wide grin which that had a loose tooth as she spoke, "I am Niora Nuwenhuizen, we have your rooms ready."

"Rooms?" Clair wondered. "But...."

"Since you two are different in age, we do not often put ages, friends or sisters in the same hostel." She, Niora took hold of my hand, since I kept glancing away from the light and was staring at the buildings windows at close by.

"Those are the last year class hostel." She breathed a choking cough, "errrhem!.... Follow me you two. By the way. What are your full names?"

"Claire Fallstaff ," Claire Blurted out, "What hostels will we be?"

"I'm Annah Fallstaff and this is my older sister Claire"

"Ah to be young...." Letting another wrenching cough loose.  She led us to another lady standing with a blanket wrapped around her.

"Ah Niora, that must be Clarina, I'm Agatha." She took hold of my sister's hand and led her inside. When I tried moving after Claire, Niora grabbed my hand and said, "You live in the second hostel. Follow me."


Good start there Sciten, nice and clearly written. 

Although is this Interactive?  If not it should go in the Traditional Trail.


This is interactive. Forgot to add this is an open option dp. Meaning: choices or events are a large contributing factor to what happens next.


Quote from: Scribe_siren on Nov 15, 2019, 05:10 pmThis is interactive. Forgot to add this is an open option dp. Meaning: choices or events are a large contributing factor to what happens next.

Well, it's not very clear on the SP, but I say just go along with things for now, scope out the possible options.
Sorry, not a very imaginative suggestion!  :P


Nov 20, 2019, 03:30 pm #4 Last Edit: Nov 20, 2019, 04:48 pm by Scribe_siren

So being dragged by hand in hand, I thought this lady was an odd creature of a being. Noira started laughing, "Oh you will love them!"

"Love who?" I breathed as I was being tugged on.

Noira turned to me and held her freehand on the knob of a large construction built out of sea side rocks, forms as an octagon wall, bricks keeping the building strong.

From the corner of my eye, I saw a small graveyard close by. "Why is there a Graveyard?"

Noira pulled the door open and girls were standing as straight as a pin to the walls, another lady was checking their pockets.

Noira pushed me to the side of the wall next to a girl that had matted hair, dripping down at the back of her blue shirt. Tied around each student's neck was a pink sash.

"It's the beginning of the year, each gets checked for sharp objects?" Noira whispered, letting a muffled cough loose behind her open hand.

I was frozen in fear, I was wearing an ugly shirt and my pants was a short khaki. I was afraid I had something in my pockets, turning my gaze down I pulled at my pockets.

When the lady saw me looking, Noira stepped back to give the lady space, "You got something to show us?"

My voice felt like it was stolen, I shook my head just to show I still have some respect to use body language. She took a stick put it to my chin and said, "You are new? You need to go to wetherspoon the seamtress after checking into your shared room. Tell her Ora sent you."

"Ye---Yes Mam!" I swallowed my excitement being in a new city and state, I figured it would have been so much easier. I bowed my head and looked down as a nod to Ora.

I rubbed my eyes and was given the oil lamp, which Noira gave willingly. "you would need this." She motioned me to follow her, "This way" As Noira ambled away from the large line of girls, I noticed her playing with her tongue with that loose tooth of hers.

It took us five minutes to reach my room: Number 9. I took a gasp and Noira said, "Ah you heard the ex-cop"

"Who?" I quizzically asked her, "What ex-cop."

"The taxi driver, We call him Beast, He looks older than he seems to be in reality than spirit."

"How old is he?"

"He might have grown a beard, but he is about thirty-nine."

"If he is an ex-cop, how did he lose his job?"

"What makes you think he lost his job?" Noira turned lighting a cigarette. "He lost more than that!" blowing smoke my way.

I wafted the smoke away and carried on walking into the room. There were four beds, however it seemed one of the top bunks was occupied by a fast asleep lump under the bedding.

As I walked in, they tossed my extra luggage I left behind through the door. It awoke the girl on the bed and she screamed like a frightened turkey, "Hey! I've cleaned that floor! I'm not going to miss the mall---" She turned to look and said, "Great another one , wet behind the ears."


What should I do? Be kind to her, beat her ass, ignore her or become friends by sharing something


She's new to all this, so I think she needs friends.  Try and be nice to her.

Alternatively, she could act all tough, try and be the 'dominant bitch' in town haha.

'nother nice one Sciren. ;D


Thank you for reading the piece, It's feeling rather lonely in the city. So Ill take both suggestions for next chapter. Since well, I don't have other readers at moment.


Nov 23, 2019, 07:45 am #7 Last Edit: Nov 23, 2019, 07:58 am by Scribe_siren

"Wet behind the ears?" I gawked at this girl. Her face turned from serious to closed eyes in meditation. She turned on her bed and immediately jumped from the top bunk a few inches from stairs, "I'm Aesley."

Holding onto the lamp, I held out my other hand she just looked at it, I noticed Aesley had a wrapped up wrist, "Oh, sorry" I pulled my hand back and her seriousness seemed to go away.

"I'm Annah." I replied back, with a constant eye contact I noticed that Aesley had a few packed bags on the lower bunk, right underneath the bunk she was sleeping on.

Noira cleared her throat, "Have fun." Spinning around, she waddled off down the hallway.

I felt like a lice poison dog collar, being in the wrong place. "Would you be able to show me around?"

Aesley wiggled her shoulders to the left and then to the right trying to get some knots out.
"Sure, don't expect me to pick your crap up from the floor. Or even doing anything as a favor." She walked over to me and tapped over her wrist, "I am not able to do work, much...." 

"How did you get that bruise?" pointing to the wrap around Aesley's hand.

"Helping." She bluntly snapped at me. "Look I don't care where you are from, I don't care what your problem is...."

"What problem?" I was taken aback, noticing that I was getting on this girl's nerves.

"Why you were sent away!" She started storming down the hall.

"I was sent away.... " I breathed, running after her. I didn't know why I was sent away along with my sister.

So I replied, "It looks like you got family problems too!"

Suddenly Aesley turned on the balls of her feet and looked with melancholy, "You  don't know half of us here, you'll find out soon, each student is here for a reason."

"So, this is a problem school?"

"Pretty much."

I carried on following Aesley, it looked like she was starting to calm down by walking slower. Maybe she was not a horrible bully.

I glanced at her wrist, wondering what hurt her, inanimate object or animate human being. "Are you able to point me to Wetherspoon's ...urm... class?"

"Certainly." She stood still and pointed me to the stairs going down into the darkness, "The lights are broken, that's why Noira gave you the lamp."

I noticed I've been running down the hall with the lamp, some of the oil messed on the floor and the light had apparently been extinguished as I was running,  "Oh my!" I gasped, I was going to be killed for sure.

Aesley spoke in a quick manner, "I will clean that, but you owe me your mall freedom time."

"What does that mean?"

Aesley crossed her hands over each other, winching she let the arms loose and said, "Each Saturday you get a free time to buy stuff after you have done your chores." She took a breath, "And after doing your part of the school, like bus, kitchen or rooms, you get to go. Since your new, I guess I can help you out, if I get your ticket for free--for myself."

She held out her un hurt hand and said, "What do you say?"


What should she do, agree to this deal or clean it herself--


I think she's done okay so far, so no point in changing tack now.  Agree, but she may want to go to the mall herself, so perhaps there's another deal that could be made instead?
Unless the mall's not a big deal for her...

'nother nice one Scribey.


Thank you cren.

I'm currently thinking of next installment for MSCC. I don't know why but I fall asleep too easy now. But I sleep like 2 to 15 minutes and wake up again.

Power is still out however. Which gets in way of business or other plans.


Nov 24, 2019, 06:29 am #10 Last Edit: Nov 24, 2019, 02:29 pm by Scribe_siren
Chapter 2 C: Hello

I took her hand and said "deal." And I took a breath, "If I can..." And my words-train trailed off into the nothingness.

Aesley took a look at the lamp and turned, "good"

I walked down the stairs into the darkness . Easily walking inch by inch hoping I'll be fine. Getting closer I saw a shadow leaning against the wall.

It was a guy, smoking and as he let the smoke expell from his lungs. He looked at me and said, "need help?"

"Miss. Wetherspoon?" I gurgled into my own throat, clearing it to make sure he was able to hear what I was saying.

Taking the lamp from my sweaty hands. He took out an old rag and cleaned it off.

Taking his cigar he started nudging the nib of the oil lamp and the flame started growing.  I stepped back expecting it to blow up from the mess I've made.

I was given the rag as he was busy closing the oil lamp-piece. Bending down I took a wiff of the rag. Cleaning fluid.

The light from the lamp showed me the face of the stranger. A black bushy beard. Blue piercing eyes that seemed to have gotten it's age-old laugh lines. It was the one called Beast. 

He was wearing a old rugged blue shirt. Which had a faded spot, where a badge should have been.

I felt bad and said "how are you?"

He looked at me and smiled , "I'm ok." And he pointed to a barred gate. "Miss Wetherspoon."

I nodded and started hammering at the doorbell. Just then a screechy voice came out of a small intercom. Screaming for me to enter.

As I opened the gate I saw white lines all around the floor of the room. The lady replied, "it's for kinetics. Come closer. "

Wetherspoon was behind an old huge sowing machine. Old wheels turning as she was edging away at her current project.

"Ora sent me." I quickly said.

Goggled eyes looked up from her working spot. It seemed to be for swimming. "I wear these because I am afraid the needles will poke me. I run through them like cake."

She clicked her two fingers for me to come closer and turned her finger to the white line infront of her. "so. Your number 9." She unfurled a string and started measuring my height.

Muffled talking is all I could hear from Wetherspoon. Since her scissors was wedged into her mouth.

I spent the next few minutes quiet and calm. And Wetherspoon finally took the scissors from her mouth.

Looking at me, she turned and tossed clothes to me.

"These are blue and pink." She turned and gave another set of clothes. "These are cleaning clothes." And she passed another pile "This is your shower items" and she looked with finger on her mouth, "Now..... Go! Go go."

I was ushered out out of the room and started uncomfortably inching up the dark staircase.  A small shadow rushed past my feet and my footing went awry.

Next thing I knew I was in the hands of the taxi driver. "Err... Thanks"

" No problem. I have gotten use to catching the dames falling here."

His eyes was beautiful.  I shook my head in thought and said, " Thank you Beast."

"Harry..." He laughed at me. "by the looks of your clothes. You must be a first year student"

"yes. I am" getting myself out of his arms out of embarrassment. Picking up what I've lost from falling.

Harry picked up some of my mess and said, "I'll help you. Which room are you?"

"number 9." I replied, "like you said....."

"Ah. The girls I gave a lift for. Your father knows me."

"How?" I stepped back in fear of what he was going to say. By the looks of things he noticed my negativity on this subject.

"You know my step dad?" I breathed, holding hands clenched over my clothes. 

He looked and said, "Yes. I'll talk about this. If you want me to."

Should she try and learn information from this stranger. Should she believe what is said....what now?
Ok so this is getting very very odd for me to write. I've never been the one to write an erotic story.  So I keep to having it natural. Atleast the  plot line isn't love.... it's  clues... as far as I know. But still.. These characters are 6 years old. So.


Mmm, most off, I wrote a response and then it.. vanished!  :o

Again then:

Very nice chapter Scribes!  It was really atmospheric, and seemed darker than usual, but that's not a bad thing at all.  Really good.  Your best to date.

That said, there were a few areas that could be tightened up a bit, but you can do that in post, as the film people say.

As for the SP, Goodness yes!  Find out more.  More more more more more!!


In the city two votes saying that the information should be shared with her sister.
Thank you for your vote Cren! and for reading.


Mar 11, 2020, 05:49 pm Ren says: Another episode of Walkabout has finally been posted! Woot.

Feb 13, 2020, 08:31 pm Ren says: New episode of Apocolypto is now up! Woot. [

Jan 31, 2020, 08:45 pm Ren says: Another episode of The Other One is posted!

Jan 27, 2020, 07:31 pm Ren says: Right then, The Other One is now polling!

Jan 26, 2020, 09:12 am Ren says: Another episode of Theodore Chance is now up!

Dec 31, 2019, 07:00 pm Wanderer says: I don't think I did anything with the snowflake colour!  Anyway, Happy New Year to all![color]

Dec 30, 2019, 04:57 pm Ren says: Happy New Year to everyone! - More of Theodore Chance has been posted! [/b]

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